Monday, February 25, 2008

so i called

Woman With Heavy Accent: Haylo an tank you for calling Target.comb, owcanIelpyoutoday?

Me: (great.) Hi, there. I'm calling about an order I placed in December. By January, I received it, but it was the wrong item. I returned it and received the same wrong item, again.

WWHA: I can put you on hold for 1 or 2 meenutes, zatokaywityou?

Me: Sure. (long 2-minute musical interlude)

WWHA: Haylo?

Me: (okay, now we're getting somewhere)

WWHA: Can you geeb me yur name?

Me: (So I do.)

WWHA: And can you comfeerm yur mailingaddress?

Me: (That, too. Did you know that was one word?)

WWHA: An yur email?

Me: (Okay, we should be through with the preliminaries for now...)

WWHA: I can put you on hold for 1 or 2 meenutes, zatokaywityou?

Me: Sure. (again??)

WWHA: Okey. The system won allow me to re-order, so I can give you refund, zatokaywityou?

Me: Did I purchase that on my Target card?

WWHA: I can put you on hold for 1 or 2 meenutes, zatokaywityou?

Me: Okay. (Did I ask a hard question?)

WWHA: Heylo?

Me: Yes, I'm here. Okay, I need to tell you that the bracelet I received is labeled as a necklace. But it's not; it's a bracelet. I ordered the necklace.

WWHA: Can I have yur oder number?

Me: *number given*

WWHA: Okey, you order "fox" pearl beaded necklayce.

Me: Yes, but I received a faux pearl beaded bracelet.

WWHA: I can put you on hold for 1 or 2 meenutes, zatokaywityou?

Me: (Are you serious??) Um, sure.

WWHA: Haylo and tank you for waiteen. I hab geeben you a refund and ordered the necklayce for you.

Me: What necklace did you order?

WWHA: The fox pearl beaded necklayce. (Why did I even ask?)

Me: Okay, but I think I will receive the bracelet again because it is labeled wrong. Can I give you the item number of this bracelet? 1-0-6-6-8-0-6-9.

WWHA: No, I poot a note that you want necklayce.

Me: What is the item number of the faux pearl beaded necklace?

WWHA: 2-3-4-0-6-2-7-4-5. The catalog number ees 1-0-6-6-8-0-6-9.

Me: But wait. THAT is the item number of the bracelet.

WWHA: Jes.

Me: (!) But I don't want the bracelet. I want the necklace.

WWHA: Jes, as I said, I poot note that you want necklayce.

Me: Okay, but what item number did you just re-order for me?

WWHA: Jus poot V-0-0

Me: Wait, what is this number?

WWHA: A-S-I-N number.

Me: For what?

WWHA: Es for the necklayce. Jus poot it in.

Me: Okay, V-0-0...?

WWHA: B as in Bravo.

Me: Oh.

WWHA: B as in Bravo-tree zeyroes: zeyro-zeyro-zeyro.

Me: Okay.

WWHA: V as in Victory-seben-four-C as in Charlie-D as in Delta-I as in Indigo.

Me: All right. This item number 1-0-6-6-8-0-6-9 is the same for the bracelet AND the necklace? Are they in the same family?

WWHA: Jes.

Me: (I must move on or go absolutely insane.) Okay, what should I do with the bracelet that I have?

WWHA: Jus geeb it.

Me: (Give it? Does she mean "return"? Maybe if I ask another way.) Should I return this bracelet to Target?

WWHA: Jus geeb it.

Me: (Give it... Last ditch effort, here.) I'm sorry. I wish I could understand you! I have the bracelet in my hand, what should I do with it? Should I return it in the box to Target?

WWHA: Jus geeP it. Es up to you. Return it or geeP it.

Me: Oh, I can keep it?

WWHA: Es up to you.

Me: So it doesn't matter what I do with the bracelet?

WWHA: Jes. It doesn't matter. CanIelpyouwitanytingelse?


Matthew said...

Wow! That was priceless! Thanks for that post. I needed a laugh tonight.

sethswifeforlife said...

sounds like quite an experience on the phone there. wow. and what patience you had, my friend!

Cathy said...

Your spellings were perfect for translating...and I'm almost positive that I have spoken with this exact same person before! I just know it!! This was too funny...thanks for sharing!

Sarah said...

So laughing out loud at work is embarrasing, but that's what happened just now when I checked up on you. Hysterical! And I want to know if you actually DO get the necklace to go with the bracelet, or just get to have two bracelets. And how much did it cost you for all this trubbel withthe fox jewry? =D

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